God did remove "unhealthy people who intentionally hurt me" on 2023, and attracting healthy people into my life. I didn't remember what did I write on a random day on December 2022 until I came up to my personal blog today. 2023 turned out to be one of my best years. I never thought I would gone through half-mid 2024 hanging onto what was good to me.
Now, it's all gone. Now, it's all gone? We can't avoid change, do we?
Good things happened in 2024 but at some cost. Good things happened in 2023 but left only memory.
To one of good things that happened to me on 2023; I wish you the best life ever possible. Thank you for coming. I will miss you, very much.
in this life, i will let all hurt and pain go through me so i can be moksa in the next life...
in 2023, i wish i attract happy and healthy people, situation, place, and habit into my life. may god will remove all the unhealthy people who intentionally hurt me and want to disappoint me. may god give me strength.
i gotta remember; god knows, i don't...
https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/disorganized-attachment/
apparently i am not a true victim in my adult relationships. while, sure, all those boys never really want me the way i did, they probably just confused how to translate me.
i think i need to forgive and nurture myself...
what hurt me so much is i never tell my grandma that i love her very much. and i'm very sorry i wasn't there when she was in pain. i'm sorry i didn't believe she really care about me. i want to tell her that i am sorry for everything. i wish i had one more time to fix it all...
i finally understand why on may 2020 i felt the gut, and why i was afraid too much, that wolvie would leave me, which eventually he did. it was the feeling that made me sent a chat to him, that i don't want in that situation anymore because i wish to have more, and then he replied that he cannot give it to me.there, it's done. it happened because it had to. not for me but for him.
may 2020 nodal transit started to entering gemini-sagittarius that sit on his 1st and 7th house while venus also started retrograde, which doubled the wave. a big change was happening for him. and i was no longer needed in his life. the shift was so huge and i was a part of the purge and it was inevitable.
while i still having a battle to move on, i started to see a light: it was happening for him and i should accept it. beside, also, surely he never love me the way i do. i understand it.
astrologers said about released and let go vibe on 14th june when full moon in sagittarius. i think i'm looking forward for it.
i pray you have a really good life, wolvie. you are my best part and best lesson in my life. i am sorry if i didn't do enough for you. thank you for caring me the way you did despite you have no feeling towards me. i like your gentle manner, and always will.
take me as a cheap lsd you can afford everydaybecause let's trip, baby, trip
i will take you far far away from this mundane pain
turn off the light
i promise this be a good trip only
you laugh, you bubbling
you be yourself when you are with me
